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illuminaughty Merch Store

I Wish My Dick Reached All the Way to the Floor. So the Shark Ate His Legs. Unisex Zip Hoodie

$86.99 USD

Cooling-Off Period Notice

Our products are custom-made. Once production begins, they cannot be canceled or returned. By placing your order, you agree to our terms and refund policy, including waiving any colling-off period rights under your country's laws. For order mistakes, contact support immediately.

Wait! 🛑 Before you place your order, please ensure you have selected the correct size(s) and/or variant(s). 

Embrace a blend of humor and comfort with our “I Wish My Dick Reached All the Way to the Floor. So the Shark Ate His Legs” zip hoodie. Perfect for adding a playful touch to your everyday style while staying cozy.

Why You’ll Love It:

  • Sustainable Style: Crafted from 95% recycled polyester and 5% spandex, this hoodie is an eco-friendly choice that doesn’t compromise on quality. Certified by GRS (Global Recycled Standard) and OEKO-TEX Standard 100.
  • Unmatched Comfort: Enjoy the soft cotton-feel fabric on the outside and a brushed fleece interior that feels like a warm hug.
  • Relaxed Fit: Features a unisex relaxed fit with drop shoulders, providing ample room for comfort and easy layering.
  • Attention to Detail: Includes a double-lined hood for extra warmth, a moon patch on the inside of the back for a fun surprise, and premium drawstrings and zipper with metal details for durability.
  • Easy Maintenance: Comes with a tear-away care label for straightforward garment care.

*This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, so it takes us a bit longer to deliver it. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

Size guide

  CHEST (inches) WAIST (inches) HIPS (inches)
2XS 34 ⅝ 28 ⅜ 35 ⅜
XS 36 ¼ 29 ⅞ 37
S 37 ¾ 31 ½ 38 ⅝
M 39 ⅜ 33 ⅛ 40 ⅛
L 42 ½ 36 ¼ 43 ¼
XL 45 ⅝ 39 ⅜ 46 ½
2XL 48 ⅞ 42 ½ 49 ⅝
3XL 52 45 ⅝ 52 ¾
4XL 55 ⅛ 48 ⅞ 55 ⅞
5XL 58 ¼ 52 59
6XL 61 ⅜ 55 ⅛ 62 ¼
  • 100% Laughs
    Guaranteed

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I Wish My Dick Reached All the Way to the Floor. So the Shark Ate His Legs. Unisex Zip Hoodie

I Wish My Dick Reached All the Way to the Floor. So the Shark Ate His Legs. Unisex Zip Hoodie

$86.99

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Our products are custom-made. Once production begins, they cannot be canceled or returned. By placing your order, you agree to our terms and refund policy, including waiving any colling-off period rights under your country's laws. For order mistakes, contact support immediately.

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